Falling

Feels like my life's been passing by
With happiness just bein' a lie
How did I get here, where am I going?
One more day without knowing
Struggling for one more breath
As I'm drowning in a painful death
Can someone reach out for me?
In this dark and dreary sea

'Cause it seems like no one can
Hear the voice that's calling
Try to take the most I can stand
But I keep falling

I try to chase the memories away
But they haunt me everyday
I hope I get over this phase
'Cause I'm stuck inside this haze
All I need is a simple lift
Such a sweet and precious gift
So I don't lose it all before
What I have left is nothing more

In my isolating misery
I feel like the epitome
Of darkness and despair
Just leading onto nowhere
Will I be able to win this race?
I'm runnin' at a slow pace
Trying hard to press on
But the motivation's gone

'Cause it seems like no one can
Hear the voice that's calling
Try to take the most I can stand
But I keep falling

Oh

I try to chase the memories away
But they haunt me everyday
I hope I get over this phase
'Cause I'm stuck inside this haze
All I need is a simple lift
Such a sweet and precious gift
So I don't lose it all before
What I have left is nothing more

It may not have to be this way
Waiting for me they could be a new day
Maybe I can revise
And escape from the lies

I try to chase the memories away
But they haunt me everyday
I hope I get over this phase
'Cause I'm stuck inside this haze
All I need is a simple lift
Such a sweet and precious gift
So I don't lose it all before
What I have left is nothing more

There could be something more
To what my life may have in store
I'll move from where I began
Keep on pressing through to the end

falling - david archuleta

I'm sorry

I'm sorry....
I couldn't do anything...
i feel so helpless....
i wish i could have done something...
to make the pain seem painless...
to put that smile back on you face...
to pick you up when you fell...
to give you a hug or a pat on the back...
anything a friend or a brother would do...

seeing you fall made me feel terrible...
i was just a spectator...
someone from the sidelines...
unable to help...
unable to lend a hand...
unable to cushion your fall...
unable to be the friend you needed me to be....

Whatever i say or do now....
is not going to change anything...
but i want you to know....
that i'll always be there...
trying my best to be your pillar of strength...
trying my best to mend your wounds...
trying my best to be a friend...
but all i can do....
is try...

Lying abt lying

Can you lie about lying?? If you lie abt lying then you are actually telling the truth. But you can't be telling the truth when you are lying. If you lie that you were lying abt the truth then you are like lying and telling the truth at the same time because you are telling the truth abt lying which means you did lie. Right?

This question came abt when my brother and I were discussing sth. So we had a little confusing talk abt it. =)

Tips on how to NOT become the class monitor

1. Use the i'm-so-busy technique. Tell the teacher a list of societies and games and stuff that you
have joined with all your poses. Look like your under a lot of stress. It helps.
2. Use the pls-oh-pls technique. Give your teacher your cutest and nicest puppy look. This
technique only works if you look cute. If not, then don't bother. =)
3. Use the you-can't-force-me technique. This is more 'radical' as compared to the others. This
technique means you just abandon your work and don't do anything. I don't recommend you
use this technique.
4. Use the pity-me technique. When in class, look sad and depressed like the whole world just died.
Hopefully, your teacher will notice and give some sympathy.
5. Use the replacement-no-jutsu technique. Find someone who is willing to take the job. If there is
no one, then just force someone. =)

PS: try the polls on which do you think is the most effective.

Haircut Rule..........

As all mewahan's know, our school "loves" our hair very very much. They recently had a spot check and without warning left almost half the school looking like monks. To me, i feel that the rules on our hair is ridiculous. They are impractical and wastes a whole lot of time.

First, the rules say that the hair at the back cannot be lower than the earlobes. How ridiculous is that? Dont they know that everybody's hairline is different. Some grow longer down to the neck and some dont. They can't expect everyone to look the same. I feel like they are trying to make us look like robots.

But i dont understand why they are giving so much attention to how we look. I feel that our hairstyles wont affect our studies at all. Okay, there should be some guidelines but i think as long as we look neat then it should be fine. But NOOOOOOOOOOO. Our principal says that we are full time students and we should not look fashionable. What is wrong with being a fashionable student??

Then, a discipline teacher said that some parents defend their child. He says they seem to love their child's hair more than their studies. But to me, it looks like the school cares more abt hair than studies. They take a whole day to shave the students' hair and making them miss lessons. Why dont they go see if the teachers are teaching properly? Or whether the students are having any difficulties?

Haiz. I guess I just have to get through it for another year.

Scouts Camp

It was kinda weird because i was considered a senior because i was form 4 but in actual fact i was as experienced as any other form 2. I joined the high 5 team ( high 5 is 5 badges you need to get in order to become a king scout). Well it was weird because i only had usaha badge. Ok. A little scouts lesson here. First as a pengakap muda, there are 3 badges to achieve. First is lencana usaha ( in form 1), then lencana maju ( form 2 ) and lencana jaya, ( form3).i only joined last year, so i only have usaha.

Then they made us (high 5 group) come earlier than everybody else to copy the log book. Haiz. Then as usual we set up the camp and stuff. then we had to build a gajet around 2.5 m high. there went my beauty sleep. so we kept building until like 2 then went to sleep just to take down the whole thing again the next day coz it wasn't stable. Then we had kawad, masakan rimba, kembara, latihan komander, malam kebudayaan, and solo camp.

Ok, now abt the solo camp. The plan was to drop us in the jungle alone for abt an hour to build our confidence or sth like that. But guess what. We were accompanied by millions of mosquitoes. Ok. I'm exaggerating. it wasn't millions but it was a lot. I didn't stop scratching. For those who saw the aftermath on my hands.....well you can guess what it was like. The solo camp started around 12 sth and we came back around 4 i think. this is all in the morning. The next day all went as usual.

Another thing was.....i was a real noob. I'm not very experienced you see, so i was like the newbie. I took like super long to cut a bamboo and still not successful. Then comes james or tuan ren and they will say like " aya, come let me do." Then in one strike, the bamboo was cut in half. Super depressing......haiz......

So tiring. Maybe i shud drop out from becoming a king scout. Who knows....maybe i will. But overall, it was kinda fun. could hang out with friends like chicky, james, ccj, andrew, sam, jun wei, hua chiam, kar yan, carol, jamie, min lei, joan, tuan ren and everyone else. So juz pray that i dun get denggi.

Youth Leadership Developement Programme (YLDP)

I'm finally back home after soo long.....Anyway, just wanted to share my experience at the camp. To be honest, i wasn't very keen on going for the camp. Firstly, because i already went for 2 others just a few weeks before. Secondly, it's a 6 day camp and that is kinda long for me. Thirdly, i was gonna be alone. T_T. Although my bro and other friends went along. i was gonna be alone because they will separate us into 3 levels according to age. And those of my age who have gone for this camp before obviously can't sit for the same sessions again so they would go on to level 2. so i was left alone in level 1. There were other first timers too but they were much younger so they joined the pre-levels. haiz....

Then, we found out that most probably we would have to sleep in tents. TENTS! For 6 days. I would probably die. But fortunately for me, i was not placed in the tents but in a pavillion; a hut-like thingy. But believe me, it wasn't as pleasant as expected as well. It was hard. My back was like super aching. I was sleeping on wood. We would lie in our sleeping bags until it got soo hot. The nights were hot but in the morning, the weather would saddistically change and we would be freezing. So i didn't get much sleep throughout the entire camp but it beats sleeping in tents, right?

But after a while.....i felt like there was a reason why i was at this camp. God sure has a plan for me. And to my surprise, i enjoyed the sessions very much. It made me realise and learn a lot of things i never really knew. Pastor Daniel Singh was hillarious, but he still managed to get the message across. I feel like i was at a very rough part of my life; i mean spiritually. and the sessions helped me a lot. The theme was second wind, a phenomena where a marathon runner after feeling sooo tired suddenly gets a surge of energy to press on. it's something similar to our walk with God. Sometimes we feel tired and come to a road-block.

Usually when i attend camps, i would be one of the younger ones. Everyone was usually older than me. But this time, i was like the older person. So many of the 'older ppl' are actually my age. So that made me the 'older person' i used to meet at camps. But being form 4, i met a lot of other form 4 mates who look sooooo mature. I, in comparison, looked like a small kid.

The one thing i enjoyed in the camp was the grouping. We had 3 different groups. Our team-building group for games and stuff, our sessions group meaning the 3 different levels and our devotion group. This helped me a lot to get to know more ppl and build relationships. Besides, the worship services were awesome. This camp was also a very eventful camp. The first night, the hall had a blackout so we had to shift to the ampitheatre. The second night, it rained very heavily and some tents were wet plus one was flooded. The stream itself overflowed. The third day, the air-conds malfunctioned for a while.

After coming back from this camp...i have no regrets whatsoever abt attending this camp. I enjoyed myself a lot and i thank God for always being there for me. This camp gave me the confidence to continue walking with the Lord forever. And on the last day....i made a declaration that......as for me, i will walk with the Lord forever.