Friday, August 15, 2008

loneliness....sometimes my friend

i'm sure everyone has felt lonely before...i sure have felt lonely many many times before. The thing about loneliness is that it comes at anytimeand anywhere. You may be in a crowd but you can still feel lonely. you can hide it from the world by putting a facade or even a smile but the fact is...it eats you up inside. It makes you feel useless and hopeless and not wanted. i have felt like i never really fit in before..i mean....I use to feel so happy and secure but sometimes it just comes...this loneliness. I try to strengthen my relationship with my friends but sometimes it seems to be a one-way effort. I try finding them in school ...to hang out and talk but it was never the other way around. Maybe i am just paranoid or maybe a little nuts but i can't seem to get over it. I have friends who do stick by me no matter what. But why do i still feel lonely? Why do i still feel like i am alone in this world? Deep down inside i know i am not alone. I know that my friends are always there for me. I know they will help me pick up the pieces. well, maybe i just need time...this loneliness...it will go away....right? Yes. I know that God has a purpose for me in life...I am not alone....

4 comments:

Unknown said...

hey lonely huh?
HERE is a BIG HUG from me.
don't feel lonely
but being by yourself is nice too.

RuYen said...

Feeling lonely? Don't worry!! Jesus is always with you and He cares for you^^

Anonymous said...

hey kit..it's ok, it's totally normal, n u noe wat, i think every1 goes thru it..cos i did too..if u read my previous entries in my blog..i went thru da same thing too..bt u noe wat, it DOES go away..n juz rmb 2 think abt ur frenz..they're alwiz there wit u, when u nid them..n dun 4gt, u hv me n ming n ma n pa..u'l alwiz hv us..so chill..u'l be fine..muakz..miz u guyz!!

siehjin said...

yo man =) haven't seen u for ages... been so busy, have missed church for more than a month... blerk

well... loneliness is part of the human condition, just as sin is part of the human condition... this is because, theologically speaking, sin forms a barrier not only between us and God, but also between us and others, and even between us and ourselves...

that's y (theoretically at least) jesus is truly the only answer... because he died so that all these relationships could be reconciled...

personally, when i was much much younger, i remember pleading with God for one best friend. one person with whom i could share everything, who would understand me and care for me (i don't remember if i thought about it the other way as well, or if it was a totally selfish request... heheh). i asked for this because, in spite of my many friends, i felt so lonely...

well, later on i began to ask serious questions about faith and existence and began to explore what it really means to be a christian. that ended with me deciding to give my life to Jesus 100%. since then, he's been my best friend. i'm not saying there was no more loneliness, but it was never as dark, despairing, or desperate as when i made that plea to God i mentioned earlier. =)

and of course, much much later i met chenmay, who is now my wife... but even that is not a perfect solution, because being human there are times when we hurt each other and then for a while until we patch it up we may feel very vulnerable and lonely...

i'm guessing u already know this, but in theory as well as in my practical experience, knowing, loving, and being loved by Jesus is the best (only?) long-term solution to the human problem of loneliness. =)